Define

Courage: (defined by Merriam-Webster's online dictionary),

"mental or moral strength to venture, persevere, and withstand danger, fear, or difficulty"

 

 I have seen other slicers take on words that mean something to them. I have seen them declare that a word is theirs for a period of time. I never really understood. Until now. I appreciated the idea, saw that it might be valuable at some point. But I didn't feel like it was for me. There was no pull, no attachment, no word.

Until now. I started this challenge with a tribute to my grandmother and how her example of  Courage inspired me. Throughout these 31 days of writing, the theme of courage has been running through my mind. In life. In work. In relationships. In decisions. There was always Courage nagging at me, showing up, and making her presence known.

I never would have told people before that I was a person who had a lot of fears. I still wouldn't characterize myself as that way. However, maybe I have made a front for those fears. I'm not sure. Either way, the time for courage is now.

Courage to be myself- whoever that may be- despite my company.

Courage to make tough decisions.

Courage to love those around me the way they need it.

Courage to laugh at myself- even if no one else is!

Courage to live my life to the fullest.

Courage to let others be themselves and appreciate them that way.

Courage to change in myself the things that need work.

Courage to love myself the way I am.

Courage to push down the fears and take the risk.

Courage to live- and not regret.

Courage to live life with purpose.



A couple of weeks ago I ran across this quote on a fellow slicer's blog:

"A ship in port is safe,
but that's notwhat ships are built for,"

--Rear Admiral Grace Murray Hopper
I immediately liked it. But as I ran my eyes over the words again and again, a new meaning came to me. There has to be Courage. Courage to take that ship out and let it be used for its purpose.

Courage to not always be safe.

I hope that as I continue to live my life day to day, I keep Courage. Courage in the small things and Courage in the monumental things. Courage for me. Courage for others.

This doesn't mean that I will be absent of fear- but rather not letting it stop me. Living my purpose. Living with Courage.

Love at First Sight

I spent my day traveling around the city seeing new babies. Two of my cousins welcomed new little girls into their lives this past week. I am glad to be able to visit this week and meet the next generation of family that I will get to watch grow and change. It is always exciting, and a little shocking to see the "kids" I grew up with having littles of their own!

Seeing, meeting, and holding these precious ones got me to thinking about some other special people in my life and how I fell in love. 4 times over. Sounds a little overboard, right? Like I can't commit?

Well, it's quite the opposite. These four boys each stole my heart in a different way. They each hold a piece of me: they call me "Auntie". I can still remember the first time I laid eyes and fingers and heart onto each one of them.

Kole Thomas was born when I was a Junior in college. Sister was not supposed to have him for another 6 weeks, but he had a little secret plan of his own. Mom and Stepdad had to quickly drop off my things at my dorm room endure the 4 hour drive home to meet the new little love. He was teeny. Just passing the 5 pound mark, he was in the NICU for several days after birth. Luckily, I was able to come home the very next weekend to meet this little guy who made me into an Auntie first.

I can't believe that now he is a 2nd grader. He loves Star Wars, Katie Perry, wrestling with his brothers and dad, and playing the piano. He is sweet, kind, and tender hearted.

Second to join the ranks was Reid Christopher. He was born in the fall of my Senior year of college. By then I was living in a house off campus with some friends and I got a call from mom late one night that Sis had gone to the hospital. This one was not as dramatic. He had decided to stay inside for the duration. Still, I was hours away and had to wait a day or two to visit. In fact, for this one, they were still in the hospital!

Now he is in Kindergarten. He loves magazines, books, and any type of reading material. He often takes something to "read" any time he goes in the car. He is notorious for getting motion sick! He has had to learn to stick up for himself. But, he is my cuddler. He loves to snuggle. He wears his hear ton his sleeve at all times. This year he has grown passionate about guitar. Hopefully he will continue that passion into the rest of his life.

Third is our "little Amish boy", Will Michael. He was born during my 3rd year of teaching. By a stroke of good timing, I happened to be home in Ohio the weekend he was born. Unfortunately, I was home to celebrate the life of a good famiy friend who had recently passed away. Even though the occassion was bittersweet, I remember being exstatic at getting to see this little on the actual day of his birth- not something that I was able to do for the two previous.

He is now a rambunctious 3 year old. He tries to stick up for himself with his two older brothers. He loves to play with the dog, suck his thumb and cuddle up to his mama. He is often known to strip down and run around the house without any clothes on! He has the bluest of eyes and the hair the color of cornstalks. He is a true sweetie!
Last year presented another opportunitiy. My dear friends adopted a little boy, Josiah Tucker. They were fortunate enough to be present at his birth and were able to care for him from the moment he was born. I remember getting the text at 2:30 a.m. saying "thunder cats-a-go" which was our code word for the baby's arrival. I was all mixed up about this one. I wanted him in our lives more than anyting else, but was hesitant about the future. See, I live with these friends. This baby would change all of our lives. It didn't take more than a second for me to realize that all of my fears and worries were for not. I was meant to be his Auntie. Meant to teach him silly games, tickle him, and smother him with kisses.

He is now almost 20 months old. He loves to read "Where's Spot?", pretend to talk on the phone, play on the computer, and run around like a crazy man. He steals my heart each day as he "gets ready" with me in the bathroom, tells me 'byebye' when I leave for work, and greets me when I arrive at home. I am constantly amazed at how he grows and learns and develops. He is a true joy.

So, there you have it: my four loves. I was destined to be theirs. They were destined to be mine. Each in their own unique way. For life.

The Big One

The moment
when you realize what you thought
is no longer true.

That piercing
pain that catches you off guard
and kidnaps your breath.

The feeling
of "what now?" and how will you
ever recover?

Mounting anticipation
that is swept away with an old broom
and thrown out.

Future plans
dashed and trampled and discarded
without a thought.

Feared Betrayal
staring you in the face as you
hear the reality.

Ouch.

Traveling Post

I spontaneously decided to take a trip to Ohio to see some family today. Here are some pics to document my travels...

 

 

 

 

It's good to be "home" again.

 

 

As an added bonus, the buckeyes won 73-70! (I'm a closet basketball fan...)

 

 

 



Tradition

A couple of weeks ago I went to the high school in town to see the play "The Fiddler on the Roof". I have always loved this story, and this production was definitely NOT a disappointment. (I contemplated going back for another viewing the following week!)

Love for this story grows in my heart each time I see it. Here, a father is tied to his ways. He is comfortable with his life. He knows what to expect. However, he has 5 daughters. Yes, 5. These daughters are growing up in a "modern" age and have differing ideals on roles for women, marriage, and want to make traditions of their own.

The father stretches and bends over the course of the story. However, the point comes where he breaks. No. No more. He will not make any more exceptions for his daughter who wants to break tradition and marry a "foreign" man. He disowns her. He claims her as dead even though you can see his heart breaking.

His resolve does not change the daughter's mind, however, and she runs away with her new husband. Major change comes about and the family has to leave their comfortable and known life. The father again has to bend and stretch. In the end, he finds a way to accept and give his blessing to the daughter's new marriage.

This play and this story got me thinking about tradition, the rules, and expectations. Sometimes they are set up for us by a people group, or our family, or even for ourselves. They can make us feel safe, comfortable, and in control. They can also limit us. They can limit our thinking, our love, and our experiences. The balance is hard to master.

How long do we hold on to tradition for tradition's sake? When and how do we bend for progress? For new ideals? For each other? How does love bend and accept new?

How do I decide which of my rules are perhaps not as applicable now as they once were? I hope I know how to bend like the father and let love conquer all uncertainty.

Could

As the challenge draws to near its end, I find myself weeding out ideas more and more. I thought I might have trouble having ideas near the end, but tonight I find quite the opposite. I have too many. However, none of them are quite enough.

I could write about an article that I read recently about raising daughters that understand true beauty.

I could write about how tomorrow is the first day of the beloved Spring Break and all of my plans that go along with it.

I could write about how the family is back and how the house has changed with that simple fact.

I could write about going home to see family in Ohio and all that entails.

I could write about marriage equality and the super intense discussions that ensue because of this issue.

I could write about my plans and schemes to go skydiving this summer.

I could write about the happiness I feel and the reasons for it.

I could write about community and what it means for the soul.

I could write about how I should not be left alone in the house with an almost full pan of brownies.

I could write about so many things... and yet none of them have that pull, that twinge, that spark. None of them are quite developed. They need time. They need thought. They need craft.

What could be...

Fever

My students and I are currently studying biographies, and how to write them. We have discussed the ins and outs of conveying information to an audience, what makes strong information, and how to make pictures/illustrations that match our words. This has been an involved study. I have learned some things along the way about my students and about myself!

Several students have begun checking biographies out from the library... on the Beatles, Elvis, Big Foot, and many other well known subjects.

I had to chuckle to myself when several kids started talking about Justin Beiber, Selena Gomez and the teeny-bopper realm of singers/actors.

I recently read an article about Justin Beiber being asked the leave a hotel in Paris because they couldn't handle the amount of screaming girls the hotel was taking on- it became a security risk for the Beib.

The book one of my students picked out from the library talked in length about the Beatles and their popularity with young screaming girls.

Last summer I went to the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame in Cleveland, Ohio and there the displays on Elvis centered on his sex appeal and ability to make women faint from his dancing!

So ridiculous... or is it?

I have always rolled my eyes at these girls. Pish. Posh. No one is that amazing to scream and cry and get so worked up over.

Or is there?

Recently I realized that I too have a celebrity crush. But, would I act like that? Heavens no... Hmmm?

Even though my students wouldn't know who he is, I began to think what I would say in a biography about him.

He is super talented. He is a comedian who hosts his own late night show. He is great at dancing, singing, and acting.

He is so cute! He has a great smile with nice teeth. His hair is dark and is always styled to compliment the shape of his face.

He is a nice dresser. Granted, a team of people help with that, but nonetheless, he looks sharp!

He is nice. Now, I don't know him, but you know how you just get a vibe about a person? Well, he is always super friendly on his show and likes to make his guests feel good.

He isn't afraid to take risks. He does funny things on his show, where often times he looks silly and others make fun of him.

He is quick witted. He is good with words and has a come back for almost any joke. It's my favorite when he can't hide his laugh, and laughs at his own silly punns!

So, is it really that ridiculous that girls would scream and cry and even faint over a celebrity? Maybe I can understand it now more than I used to. Who knows... if I ever get to see or meet him, maybe I would turn into one of those girls?

I hope to find out... soon!