This One's For You, Ruth

I have always been the kind of person to have a smattering of really good friends, instead of a lot of just so so friends. I feel lucky to be this way. The friends I do have are "seasoned". Many of us have been through oceans, deserts, springs, and fields of plenty. We have lived life together. Over time.

One such friend is one that I don't get to see too often anymore, even though she lives just over a mile from my house. She teaches in the same corporation, and I pass her school every day when I drive to my own.

This friend nurtured me as a beginning teacher. She saw something in me and took time to answer my millions of questions, encourage me, support me, and give me the confidence I needed.

In the 6 years I have known her, she has carved time out in her busy life for me. We have created blogs, written resumes, talked about books, lounged by the pool, shopped for shoes, and shared many a laugh or good story.

This lady, she works hard. She has a BIG job. She is also an amazing mother. (You should meet her kids!) She is a patient and caring wife. She sees the needs of others and takes them on as her priority.

Considering her busy life, I feel special to get to call her my "friend". For me, those aren't flippant words. I can trust that she will tell me like it is. She won't tell the world about my embarrassing stories. She is caring. She is safe. She is friend.

Life gets in the way and time spent together is far and few between. Nevertheless, next time we chat or text or spend time, I can be assured we will fall back into step.

Friend.

Ghost Sounds

So many sounds. Right now I am trying to cram them all into my brain.

The sound of his giggle when I tickle him.
The sound of his "uh- oh" when he drops a toy.
Even the sound of the annoying toys that sing the same songs over and over.
The sound of his hitting my door wanting to come in for a visit.
The sound of his quick little steps up and down the hallway.

For tomorrow the rest of my household leaves. 5 days. 5 days I will be alone in the house.

5 days is a long time. 1 or 2 days is a little reprieve, a time to recharge and enjoy. But 5 days leans towards hermit-like tendencies, extreme loneliness, and "hearing" things.

So even now as I type these words, I hear his little "bark" and "howl" from the tub. I envision him pointing to the letter o and saying "oooohhhh" over and over.

These are the sounds I will have to carry with me over the next 5 days. They will keep me company. They will remind me. They will comfort me.

A Little Wiggle (Hopefully Part 1)

Have you ever pulled out the tooth of a little 7 year old?

I haven't. But it's something I would like to do-- seriously.

Given the fact that I have been a first grade teacher for the past 6 years, it surprises many that I haven't had the opportunity to assist with a loose tooth! Oh, I encourage, test, and wiggle those teeth, but never have I had the priviledge of actually pulling one out!

Today, a little guy, came up to me with a wide gap-ish grin. He pointed to one of his front teeth with his tongue and said, "It's looths". I gave him a smile and a wink and went about testing to see if it was ready for the Great Pull.

Nope. Still too attached.

I told him, "Keep wiggling with that tongue. Come and see me first thing in the morning!"

I sure do hope little A gets to wiggling that tooth tonight-- but not too much!

I sure do hope little A has a tooth ripe for the plucking tomorrow morning!

I sure do hope I get to help pull my first little tooth tomorrow!

I will keep you posted...

Get Up and Dance!

Every teacher knows that each class has its own "personality". This year I feel like I have to be the enforcer. If I give them an inch, they might never come back! So, for the past 136 days, I have monitored, discussed, enforced, and praised. It has been exhausting!

I feel like I haven't been able to be silly or funny or spontaneous with these kiddoes! It makes me sad most days, but I have been afraid of the repercussions.

Today there was a small window of opportunity. Students were eagerly writing infromational texts at their desks and a student requested to have some music on in the background. I have done this with other classes, but like I said, I wasn't sure if this particular class could handle it.

The music started and the kids continued working. A few hummed along. I was able to confer, the music played, and working maintained. After a few minutes, I had forgotten about the music being on. So had many of the students. All of a sudden a favorite song of mine came on... "The Silly Dance Contest".

I was at a crossroads. I could turn it up, dance a little, and have fun with my class. Or, let the song pass by and wonder.

I turned it up. We danced. We laughed. We had fun!

Then I was amazed at how they went right back to their work. They knew how to focus, transition, and amaze me!

Every class has a "personality". Maybe this particular class is getting the balance of work and fun. I am sure glad they have!

Vantage Point

 

 

This has been my view this weekend. It has been a working weekend for me in my classroom. If you had asked me on Friday my feelings about this, I probably would have rolled my eyes and given you a semi-grumpy response. I had report cards to fill out, comments to complete, general planning to do, and a list of odds and ends that could have competed with the Berlin Wall.

 

Saturday morning started with a leadership meeting at 8am. Hours were spent reading, deliberating, searching, printing and organizing. The time together was pleasant and somewhat fruitful. The meeting ended and my time in my classroom began. Soon the hours had zoomed past and somehow the work had not been finished. You know what they say about rabbits multiplying? Well, that reminds me of my work load...

 

My heart sank as I realized that I would have to return today. 7 days! 7 days in a row I would be in this room- working. 7 days plus the 5 ahead. Ouch. My heart sank. No rest. No spurr of the moment walk to the park. No afternoon lunch with a friend or movie in the basement. Just work.

 

I hauled myself out of bed this morning and decided to go in and get things finished. This way, I wouldn't feel panicked and I could come home to...work. Laundry to be done. Furniture to dust. Meals to cook. Homework to be started. The list at home grows too!

 

My morning was productive and even provided a little different vantage point. I still had the same view as above, but I started to notice some details.

 

 

A parent made this for me last year. I remember being so touched by her thoughtfulness and the quote itself. She took time to make something for me that expressed her gratitude. She saw the work and effort it takes to be an educator. It is a 7 day a week job (sometimes). What a great reminder. All this work has a purpose. The kids.

 



 



 

Just a little farther to the left brought me to this drawing. Sweet little K gave it to me last week. I love artwork from students. I regularly rotate through the things they make for me on my wall. I even have a file where I keep them to pull them out later and remember. Yep, that's me on the left. I am dressed like a giraffe- because they are my favorite animal after all. What a great reminder. All this work has a purpose. The kids.

 

Even farther to the left is a quote from some colleagues a couple years ago. For some reason this has stuck with me and I framed it to remind myself of how powerful it is. This was just the perspective I needed. I work because they deserve it. They deserve my best. They deserve a bright and hopeful and passionate future. And Regie is right... I can do it! What a great reminder. All this work has a purpose. The kids.

 

So, even though my stance on Friday was understandable, I sure am glad that these reminders brought me back to this view. I am a teacher. An educator. A helper. They deserve my best. I am happy that tomorrow I can talk with them, watch them, and help them knowing that I am giving them the best I have to offer.

 



 



Anticipation, Fear, and a Goal

Those little red bubbles that pop up. You know the ones, on your iphone. They tell you that you have missed a call, have a voicemail, have notifications on Facebook, tell you a text has arrived and the like. I get those on my phone from time to time.
Don't get me wrong. I like having a cell phone that is "smart" and all, but sometimes I like to choose to be unavailable. Just because I can respond right away doesn't mean that I have to. But I like seeing those little red bubbles nonetheless.

In the past 15 or so days, those little bubbles have begun to hold more anticipation. Especially when they hover over the email symbol. Will it be someone commenting on my slice? Will they think it was silly? A waste of time? Rushed? Well written? Amusing? Insightful? The possibilities are endless.

Last year at this time I was almost paralyzed with fear about linking my very secret blog to a place where a plethora of other people could read and give feedback. This year I am so much more comfortable in my own writing skin and voice. I don't feel the hesitation of words. I think. I choose. I write. (Perhaps I should re-read more...)

The feedback that I have received here has been priceless. The tones are always supportive, encouraging, and more than understanding. I appreciate how others have taken the time to invest in my work. In me. In my learning.

This leads me to the flip side. I have been utterly lousy at reading, investing and encouraging others on the same journey. It feels selfish and unworthy to take the support but not pass it on. I know that is part of the challenge, and to that end, I have failed so far.

My new goal for the rest of the challenge is to post earlier in the day so that I have (and make) more time to read and encourage others.

Hopefully someone else out there gets excited about the little red bubble above their email symbol. Maybe, just maybe, my comment will be what awaits them.

Under the Wire

Too late to really slice. It was a great day. It was Friday after all.

A little memento from the day...