Tuesday, June 28, 2011

Desires vs. Productivity

What to do, What to do.
My mind is tired;
tired of trying to decide.

My heart yearns for one thing.
My conscience demands another.
Why must I choose?

This time should be mine.
Mine to relax, reflect, recharge.
But why is there always more?

I fear the possibility of nothing.
I regret the planned hours.
Why can't I choose?

Saturday, June 25, 2011

7 days

In one week I will be in California.

In one week I will be relaxing with some sisters of the heart.

In one week I will be drinking coffee while rocking in a chair.

In one week I will be hearing stories, catching up, and laughing.

In one week I will be relaxed.

In one week I will feel at home with my long lost friends.

In one week I will be celebrating the 4th of July with loved ones who let me be free.

In one week I will be meeting a friend's newest baby.

In one week I will be refreshed.

In one week I will be reminiscing about old times.

In one week I will be free to lounge in pajamas, glasses, and bedhead.

In one week I will be rejuvenated.

In one week I will be with soulmates, bosom buddies, neighbor sisters, friends.

Tuesday, June 21, 2011


I wish I had a good subject for my post tonight, a funny anecdote, or a thought provoking story.

I wish there were more hours in the day so I could read.

I wish I were more crafty and could make my own clothes like L.

I wish I could see one of my best friends as she grows with pregnancy.

I wish I could see my nephews more often and babysit by the pool in Ohio.

I wish the summer didn't feel like it was slipping away from me.

I wish the air conditioner in our house was fixed!

I wish I was a runner- maybe someday...

I wish I could sing or act or draw or do something artsy.

I wish I didn't have to go to bed so soon!

Tuesday, June 14, 2011


Even though it is summer, the stressful weight of time slipping away grows heavier daily. Every day since I have been back from my "trip down south" I have had a list of things to do or complete, or at least start! The last two days have been particularly bad with things let go that have to be gathered up again, dusted off, examined, and ultimately taken care of. Then, they can go onto the "finished" shelf in my mind. However, just when I finish one of these tasks, 2 or even 3 more pop into my brain! Just when I have called about the warranty on my car or printed the pictures to send to my now second graders, I remember to add- call car insurance about crack in the windshield, or clean bathroom, or research a rental car for California trip! Are these things always there to do? Or do they come into my brain now because I actually have the time to deal with them?

Whatever the case may be, I've found my escape! One word: Zumba! I started participating in a zumba class this spring. One of my co-workers offered a class after school and a small group of us started sheepishly learning to move our bodies to rhythm! Tonight, I was re-united with my good friend Zumba. We pretended to ride motorcycles, acted like birds, and even galloped like horses for a short while. Sounds crazy, right? Well, it is. That is kind of the point. Lots of people think you have to have rhthm to enjoy or succeed in this exercise. Not true. Ask anyone who has seen me! The point is: move your body, let the stress escape, and smile!

So tonight, even if for just a little while, the weight has been lifted.

Friday, June 10, 2011


I know I missed my goal of posting on Tuesday. I just couldn't decide what to write about so I let the hours slip away like water down a stream.

I had plenty of initial ideas:

  • The book I am reading on poverty and the church. Can we help? How? Do we hurt? How?

  • My ravenous rate of reading the past week or so.

  • My inability to read Non-fiction with fervor.

  • Visiting 80 some year old grandparents and realizing the frailty of life.

  • Researching my family history and the quest it has started in me.

  • My double life: Indiana and Ohio

  • Traveling with your parents

  • Starting Graduate school

  • How to forgive and overcome when a friend hurts you deeply.

Alas, none of these topics were (or are) fully developed in my mind or heart yet. I guess, like a fine wine, I should let them age a bit.

Instead, I began reading some posts by my fellow "bloggers". I wanted to comment, but for some reason every time I try to comment on a post, I sign in, complete the word verification and then get kicked right back to the log in screen again. This is what I know for sure: Technology is wonderful, useful, practical, progressive and yet if fallible.

So, here are my comments (I'll get the best of you, blogger.com)

Ruth: I'll be over soon! What flavors should I bring???

Ann: I liked the way you talked about erasing. I always have a moment every summer where I catch myself complaining about the heat (I dislike the extreme cold and heat very much) and feel ashamed, because my complaints a few months earlier were about the cold. The grass is always greener, right?

Bria: First, are you posting every day? My goal is to slice daily in July. We will see. Maybe you can hold me to it! I don't know the background of these three latest posts. But, I love how each of them holds mystery about different topics. I was particularly struck by "disconnected". I chuckled to myself this past week to watch my parents check their blackberries constantly. These, the people who less than a year ago didn't want a cell phone because "then we will be tied to it all the time". We have a choice. There is an off button.

I guess I did have something(s) to say. Take that, Technology! I will not be stopped (insert evil grin here).