Saturday, March 17, 2012

Blessings

Sometimes I start to feel sad, lonely, or wanting more. Yes, believe it or not, I have not accomplished all of the things I have set out to do in life. Someday I want a husband, kids, a house of my own, family errands, basketball games, concerts, family vacations and the like. I don't like to admit these things to myself, let alone a cyber world of people I may or may not know. I have probably always been the independent, make life your own, defy the odds, break the mold, shake things up kind of Woman. (Yes, that's a capital W...on purpose).

But every once in a while that little voice spreads a seed in my head and my heart. It leaves me wondering, waiting, wishing. I have to be careful or that little tiny speck will sprout and grow without guidance. I have to catch it quick and not let it become overgrown. I have to nurture it and prune it on occassion. I don't want the weeds to thwart its possibility and its pureness.

Tonight could have been one of those nights. Sitting at a coffee joint with 5 chairs around the table. Yes, five is an odd number. That means two and two... and one more. As I glanced around all I could see were twos. There were some threes or fours, but those included littles.

Then I had a different thought. Wait. Remember. Enjoy. I spent the day with loved ones, laughing, smiling, cherishing. The afternoon was filled with fun at school for the Family Fun Fair. I got to chat, hold babies, hug first graders, and help spread joy. I get to come home each night to friends who love me and want what's best for me. My family (even though far away) call, write, and visit often. I have a job that I love and am good at. All of a sudden there were blessings flooding through me.

When I looked around this time, I didn't see twos. I saw blessings. The baby in front of me smiling, reminding me of innocence. The couple holding hands showing me that commitment does still exist. The band illustrating the joy in tune, rhthm, and good ol' fashioned f-u-n. The coffee sitting before me telling me to enjoy the simple pleasures.

So, raise a glass and join me on the journey of pushing aside the woeful feelings and giving way to the blessings before us!

4 comments:

  1. WoW! Your description of your blessings is great! I often remind myself that even though I am single, I am really blessed (with many of the same things that you wrote about). Keep living life and enjoy its blessings!

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  2. Oh my, this piece is amazing - so many feelings, so much to think about. I think there's a part of us that longs for what we don't have. I really loved how you said: "I have to be careful or that little tiny speck will sprout and grow without guidance. I have to catch it quick and not let it become overgrown. I have to nurture it and prune it on occasion." But then you turned around and realized the blessings you have. And you are clearly thankful for them. Beautiful - thanks for sharing with the cyber world.

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  3. Thank you for your honesty in this writing. I think one of the hardest things in life is to recognize what we have and be happy with that as it is but also to balance that with setting goals and dreaming of and getting that life we want. Plus adding on balancing it all with the knowledge that there is so much we can't control and things can change so quickly. I struggle with balancing all of that and appreciate knowing I'm not alone. Beautiful writing about something so deeply personal.

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  4. Good for you! I do want for you all the things you wish for in life, but until they arrive (and I do believe they will, in time), I'm glad you are determined to love the life you're in at the moment. :)

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